Since 2012, a community of teen girls in NYC has been leading the charge to end slut shaming and transform rape culture through theater, writing, and youth-lead activism. The girls, all high-school students, and their mentors at The Arts Effect, an award-winning activist theater company, developed SLUT: The Play (written by Katie Cappiello).
Inspired by real events, SLUT follows the story of Joanna Grace Del Marco, a 16-year-old girl who is raped by three friends during a night out and fights to rise above shaming and victim blaming directed at her by those in her world. The critically-acclaimed play and accompanying workshops have toured the country engaging middle, high school and college students in conversations and protest around sexual shaming and rape.
Their efforts have sparked a national StopSlut movement lead by young women and men. The team is partnering with the Feminist Press to release its first book on February 10, 2015 called ‘SLUT: A Play and Guidebook for Combating Sexism and Sexual Violence’, edited by Katie Cappiello & Meg McInerney.
In partnership with the authors, we are hosting a series of guest blog posts called the ‘SLUT DIARIES’ by some of the teen members of this movement who share their personal stories of slut-shaming and sexual assault. Darci Siegel is a leader of the StopSlut movement. This is her story.
Dear jogger:
I was having a really good day. I woke up. I had breakfast with my parents and one of my friends. I went to class and had a really great and empowering discussion with my peers. I was wearing an outfit that I felt good in, my favorite sweater, a comfy pair of jeans, my black boots and a pair of hooped earrings. I felt confident and I was in a good mood.
Then you jogged up to me. You said hello. You asked me if I spoke or understood English. You said hello again. You told me I was pretty. You kept walking besides me. I looked straight ahead of me and I ignored you. You followed me down the street. You kept talking to me. I began to feel unsafe, less confident and disgusted. I made it clear that I did not want to talk to you. You got fed up with me. You muttered under your breath that I was a bitch and you left.
I began to ask myself. What about me made you think that I wanted to interact with you? Maybe it was the hoop earrings? Maybe it was the confidence I felt while walking in my boots?
What made you think that you were entitled to talk to me? What made you frustrated when I didn’t respond to you? I’m genuinely sorry that we’ve both fallen victim to the stereotype of masculinity that makes society believe that it’s ok for events like this to happen.
You thought that what you said to me should make me feel flattered, that I should feel special that out of all of the women in the park, you chose me.
But jogger: I’m not flattered. I speak English, but I don’t want to speak to you. I understand that you’re saying hello to me, but I don’t want to say hello to you. I don’t know you. I owe you NOTHING. The way that you looked at me. The way that you talked to me. The way that you followed me- did not make me feel pretty. In fact you made my confidence go from 100 to 0. I’m mad at you for the way you approached me, but I’m also mad at the way you made me feel. I’m mad that our interaction caused me to feel like I was out of control, and that I had lost the power to feel confident. Like our interaction was my fault. Like the way I presented myself made this event inevitable.
To the two women who stood up for me:
Thank you for being there. Thank you for seeing what was happening, and realizing that it was not ok. Thank you for seeing that I was uncomfortable and for telling him that I didn’t want to talk to him. Thank you for stopping on the street and waiting for him to leave me and making sure I was safe before continuing with your day. I’m inspired by your act of kindness and I encourage my fellow women and men to STAND UP AND SAY SOMETHING.
To everyone:
Please understand that catcalling and harassment is NOT flattering. We do NOT want strangers coming up to us on the street. Catcalling is not a compliment. It’s an aggressive assertion of male dominance by dehumanizing and hyper-sexualizing someone.
I do not want it. I do not like it. We need to stand up against it.
Darci Siegel is 16 years old and a Junior at The Beacon School. She is a member of The Arts Effect All Girl Company appeared in numerous Arts Effect productions including: SLUT: The Play and A DAY IN THE LIFE. She is also a contributing writer to SLUT: A Play and Guidebook for Combating Sexism and Sexual Violence. When Darci isn’t being an actor/activist she can be found interning for StopSlut, dancing, eating or spending time with friends and family. She is continuously inspired by the people around her and is dedicated to empowering girls worldwide. You can follow her on twitter: @darci_siegel.
