Breaking Up With My Fears Was The Best Thing I Ever Did

woman-field-freedom

Wow! I did not realize how much I was holding back

This thought came up the second I sprinted across the finish line nauseous and about to collapse.

I just finished running a 10K (6 miles) and literally swiped away about a minute and a half off of my pace. In the running world that is pretty insane.

I tend to be a loner when it comes to running. Its my meditation, most of the time. Minus when I’m jamming out to LMFAO“Sexy and I know it.”   The mornings are my selfish moments of connecting.  The quietness of the ocean as it’s just waking up, the deepness of my breathing as my body balances on the soft sand and the ease and CONTROL of how fast or slow I CHOOSE to go that day.

“Your running too fast, what if you can’t make this pace to the finish line. Just slow down…just in case. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”  That’s my ego screaming in my ear. Since I don’t train with anyone it’s hard for me to know what I really have in me to push beyond my limits.  I tend to run longer distances to make up for not giving all I got.  It’s not laziness. It’s fear. Fear that what if I don’t make it to the end? Or the disappointment of not being as good as I know I “should” be?  So, instead I run from one side of town to the next completely the same route with mostly the same outcomes.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” ~Paulo Coehlo The Alchemist

 A friend once told me the fastest he has ever ran was when his coach told him to “Stop thinking about the end and just let yourself fly…”

On race day I finally said, “F*CK IT” and took off!

I won that day. I didn’t come in first, but I won something so much bigger and deeper. I never felt so free, so strong, so confident. I broke free from the limitations I have created for myself and became more of who I am destined to be.  I am able to now see and feel how much control and hardness I keep inside my body to protect myself from…what? The ability to be the whole person I am destined to be?

Since race day, I am completely clear that “me” is what has been holding my truest self back. With this awareness, I have been able to tap into more creativity, more love and passion while embracing the unknown of possible failure.

I don’t hold back as much as I used to anymore.  I now make sure I at least touch my toes into the unknown every day.

Your way begins at the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now.
~ Rumi

 You already know the outcome of yesterday and the day before, so why not for a change, take a deep inhale and JUMP!

Some core tools to at least get your toes wet:

  • Set a time for yourself, say in two weeks to push yourself without holding back ANYTHING. (It doesn’t have to be physical. But, it has to be something you know you have been keeping safe in your comfort zone.)
  • Remember, “YOU are the only one that is holding yourself back from living up to that passion that wants to scream out and BE!”
  • BELIEVE in yourself! Speak from your soul. Who are you? Say it out loud over and over again.  Your thoughts, your words become you.

 

Susan-singer

East Coast sarcasm mixed with West Coast poise, and a touch of Middle East flare, Susan Singer has an endless appetite for living life more creatively, free and REAL. Susan finally put her lifelong curiosity in art, people and producing to the test.  She has embraced who she is and is now living her passion in life through the launch of her production company Susan Singer tv and the development of its first show Get Naked with Susan Singer.  Susan has set out to create content that inspires and motivates her audience by sharing thought provoking stories and ideas of breaking free from a controlled life of living inside “the box.”
Connect with Susan: susansinger.tv  @susansingertv

 

8 Comments

  1. Pingback: Breaking Up With My Fears Was The Best Thing I Ever Did - Susan Singer

  2. Good advice! I will try to follow that and not be afraid to “go for it”!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.