7 Reasons Collaboration Among Women Is Far Better Than Competition

Mean-Girls

By Dina Mikaela

When I talk to young girls and women one thing is clear: We are all on a pursuit for a perfect set of female friends; The ones who comfort each other through break up’s, provide support, go along on wacky adventures, give honest advice, stand up for each other and are awesome shopping buddies.

I can’t help but wonder: If we are all looking for the same thing, why is it so difficult to find? I’ve pondered this question a lot lately and I believe that it boils down to one thing: cattiness toward one another and the fact that society not only tolerates this behavior but accepts it as a norm.

At some point we’ve all felt the scorn of another person’s catty remarks and actions. For me, the first time was in 7th grade; I remember walking to school that Halloween day so excited to see everyone’s costumes and completely oblivious to the utter doom that awaited me in first period. The “leader” of my group informed me of the unanimous decision that I was to be kicked out and no one was allowed to talk to me.

So, for the next 30 days (which is like a lifetime when you’re in junior high!) non of my so called “friends” said a word to me. Eventually it was another girls turn to be kicked out and I was accepted back in. This mean spirited and just flat out nasty behavior continued all year. Some may write this off as just a case of “girls being girls,” but now, many years later, I see that the emotional impact it left deeply shaped my opinions about who I am.

I was plagued by the feeling that I wasn’t enough, that no one truly liked me and I should never trust others. I believed that I better not get too close out of fear that they might “figure me out” and stop talking to me. Even if I was surrounded by a lot of people, the mental battle that was going on inside made me feel completely isolated.

girls-bullying

It was only a few short years ago that I realized these old habits had no place in the expansive and beautiful life I dreamed of. So, I began the process of actively creating community and uniting with other women. I did this by slowly honoring and healing my own internal wounds and making space for authenticity and trust. I don’t want to make light of it: this was not easy, but ultimately it was one of the most enlightening and beautiful gifts I’ve ever given myself.

My story is by no means unique! Most women will tell you that they’ve had similar experiences when they were younger. The sad part is that this behavior continues as we grow up. The reasons may change and the methods of cattiness may be more refined; but, behind the snarky comments, talking behind each other’s backs and coming up with arbitrary reasons to be bitches to one another, its all the same.

This behavior is especially harmful amongst groups of people where catty remarks, once shared, spread like wild fire creating negativity all around. What develops is an environment of mistrust, hurt feelings and impeding paranoia: “What if no one likes me?” and “Are these people really my friends?”

Here is the thing: It doesn’t need to be that way! Regardless of what you may have been lead to believe this isn’t the “norm” or some rite of passage you have to endure because you are a woman. We deserve amazing and unified communities around us where we uplift rather than tear one another apart.

As I began creating community in my own life, I was able to attract like minded, motivated, kind, soulful women who emanated light. My life expanded as a result of being around such positive energy and I witnessed myself growing and opening up in ways I hadn’t experienced before. Here are just a few things that come into your life as a result of unity with one another:

1. The ability to develop soulful friendships and strengthen the way we communicate with everyone in our lives. Feelings of safety, value and worth become apparent.

2. The unity in sisterhood inspires and helps to become the most authentic and best version of who we are. We use our strengths to help and inspire one another and are supported in areas where we need it.

3. We are constantly around people that are open, honest, willing to share, inspire and motivate. The focus is on the advancement and growth of each individual and their experiences.

4. Willingness to share and collaborate will open doors to new resources, opportunities and spark new and innovative ideas. You can’t get these things by isolating yourself and never sharing what you are thinking out of fear that others may judge it or take it for themselves.

5. The unity in sisterhood will uplift you. You will make one another feel beautiful and strong as women.

6. Its so much more fun to be able to enjoy life and create stories with those who have your best interest at heart.

7. Unity helps us grow into whole and inspired individuals who are motivated to live life out of passion rather than fear, insecurity and a need to prove ourselves.

Love each other, support each other, lift each other and laugh together. The more goodness you create, the more there will be to go around.

 

Dina Mikaela is a Body Confidence Coach and a Certified Nutritionist who loves to help women look and feel their absolute best. She teaches them the tools to get in tune with their bodies which  the most valuable resource we possess to health, vitality, vibrance and the body and life we desire. With each one of her programs, her mission is to guide women in getting in touch with their most authentic, sexiest and most passionate self rather than trying to fit a manufactured persona. You can find her on Facebook, Pinterest, or check out her wellness website

Dina-Mikaela

4 Comments

  1. Her experience in Jr. high was an awful thing to go through and today would be called bullying! But like she said we all have had something like this happen to us and it does leave a lasting impression. I’m happy she was able to turn it into a positive and is helping others too.

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