How One Blogger Said “F#ck You!” To Negative Body Image Messages

We love Kat Lazo! If you aren’t yet familiar with the name, you gotta check out her amazing TEDx Talk she gave on how the digital age has impacted feminism, and how it has empowered every single woman to have a voice today. We were super excited to work alongside her for this post about body image and how it affects even the strongest of us. Body image problems aren’t just a female issue, as it affects men too. Ever hear the guys in your life talk about having a six pack, or muscly arms, or going to the gym to bulk up? There’s a good chance those men aren’t happy with their bodies either.

Where do these messages of negativity stem from? Is the media and fashion all to blame? What about our parents, peers and community? Here Kat shares her journey to loving her body, and says it is an ongoing one. She bravely made a video with an accompanying post because although it was a little nerve-racking for her, she knew it was important. If one person is willing to be vulnerable, it means they can give others the strength to stand up and encourage even more people.

There is no secret to becoming happy, it’s a process of identifying unhealthy patterns from your past, and being willing to accept yourself no matter what. Here’s how Kat learned to love her body.

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By Kat Lazo

I made this video at a point in my life where I was literally the happiest I had ever been but the most estranged with my body.

Two years ago, I went on an emotional roller coaster and my weight came along for the ride. I went through a pretty bad break up with my partner of 6 years. In less than a month, I had lost 20 pounds. I’m barely 5 feet and at my worst, I weighed 90 lbs.This wasn’t something I was purposely doing but instead how my body naturally dealt with the emotional pain. I was literally so full with sadness that I could not eat.

I wasn’t happy with the way my body looked because I didn’t recognize myself. I felt like I was living in a skin other than mine. But I understood that the change in my body was a natural form of grieving. Other people, including my mother, also seemed to understand this change.

However the opposite didn’t seem to be true.

After seven months, I reconciled with my partner of 6 years. My body began to gain the weight back (and some extra). I was at my heaviest weight ever but I was the happiest I had ever been. Not just because I reconciled with my partner, but because of everything I had accomplished during those seven months apart. I reconnected with an old friend who I then started my Youtube Channel TheeKatsMeoww with and found safety in sisterhood; something I never trusted in before. I can confidently say that that year was absolutely life changing!

Unfortunately there were some people, including family members, who despite my accomplishments could only focus on my weight gain. Unlike my weight loss, no one seemed to “understand” that my weight gain was a result of emotional transition into happiness. This is probably due to of how much skinniness is glorified and weight gain is despised in our society.

I don’t believe I’ve ever had a “problem” with my weight. But I can say that there hasn’t been a day where I’m not consciously fighting against the voices in my head from the pressures of society’s beauty standards. Its exhausting to constantly reject the lies that the media and sometimes even your own family feeds you.

I was 10 years old when my mother first told me how important it was for me to “suck it in”. She claimed it was for posture, so I kind of understood but when she followed it up with “You should do sit ups every morning”, I knew she was in the wrong. I never spoke up about how toxic the messages she was sending were until she started sharing it in front of my younger sister.

Unfortunately years later, a toxic message from my mother was the last straw to break away at my spirit. She told my sister “I can’t believe she let herself go” and instructed her to encourage me to make myself more “presentable”.

Its hard to ignore societal beauty standards but its even harder when their coming from inside your own home. There just came a moment when I wanted to scream “FUCK IT”. I wanted to silence all the voices in my head so I could hear my own voice.

So, what better way to work through this hurtle than to make a video out of it? Not everyone’s cup of tea but for me it was what allowed the healing to start.

I entrusted my best friend Sara to film me bare it all while at my most insecure. Shaking like a leaf, I hit the streets with my skin colored bikini and danced everyone’s opinions of my weight off my shoulders.

Whether it be a relationship or your body, change isn’t easy- its emotional. And that’s okay. No matter where you are in your journey, I hope this video brightens up your day and perhaps even makes you laugh.

Love yourself.

Kat Lazo is a feminist media activist. She’s studied advertising and marketing communication at the Fashion Institute of Technology; her studies validated her belief that the media sends messages hurtful to the development of both boys and girls. She started her own YouTube Channel: TheeKatsMeoww to encourage young people to challenge the media and question social norms through a feminist perspective. Her TedX Talk “Feminism Isn’t Dead, Its Gone Viral” has been featured by Upworthy and Huffpost Women along with other publications. She’s also worked as a project leader for UbyKotex’s Generation Know campaign, is a contributing writer for Everyday Feminism and a graduate of the Progressive Girls Voices program by Gloria Steinem’s non-profit; Women’s Media Center. For more info visit KatLazo.com